My Sister's Birthday

Today is my sister's birthday. 

I'm still pretty new at celebrating it without her.

One thing Carmen and I did without fail every year was put much thought into our birthday presents for each other...mine in December, hers in February.

Now that I can no longer give Carmen a physical present, I have decided on a new tradition of buying a birthday present for myself, on my sister's birthday.  I miss the surprise of what Carmen would have picked out for me...and I miss the shopping of finding the perfect gift for her.

Last year, for Carmen's birthday I gathered with family and friends to put together a photo album celebrating her life. 

When Carmen turned 50 she had started a project she called her Alpha Omega project.  This was the album that would highlight her life, with pictures and stories and accomplishments.  Carmen never did put together the album, but she did leave a very organized selection of photos and scrapbooking supplies labeled and filed in folders for those of us left behind to assemble for her...and that is what we did. 
Other ways I have continued to celebrate Carmen's life...
     I joined a prayer shawl group.  I have never knit anything in my life.  My sister received a prayer shawl during the last months of her life.  She was so touched by this gift, I vowed to myself to make a shawl for someone else needing comfort...some day.  I started my first prayer shawl in October...and realistically...hope to finish it...sometime in 2011.
     I started photographing the Cats at the Animal Refuge League.  Yes I did this mostly for myself, but Carmen Loved Cats!!....so I do feel a special connection with her with this particular labor of love.
     My dog Chloe is named after my sister.  My dog came into the world the day my sister transitioned out of it.  My dog is pure love and joy.  I'm pretty sure Carmen is ok with my little legacy...and I might add...Chloe is such a big sister to my new kitty...just like Carmen was to me.
     And, I'd like to end this post with a quote I read earlier this week...as I wish my big sister a Happy Birthday...Happy Birthday Carmen!

Make fun of death. We are as dead as it gets, and we are fully aware of this joyous experience. We are with you every time you allow it. We are in every singing bird and in every joyful child. We are part of every delicious pulsing in your environment. We are not dead, and neither will you ever be! You will just get up, one day, and get out of the movie.


--- Abraham

Family and friends assembling Carmen's Alpha Omega Album



The present I bought myself for my sister's birthday

My prayer shawl...a slow labor of love!

My love Chloe...and her new baby sister Little Starr